Today, while I was taking a shower (yes, dear readers, your faithful bloggist occasionally deigns to cleanse himself of the accumuluted dirt/grit/grime of the Rock And Roll And Baseball Lifestyle tm), I heard voices from my living room. But when I walked out into the room, no one was there. There was soft acoustic guitar playing from somewhere. I thought to myself, "hmm, is my roommate Logan playing a soft, sweet melody, just out of my sight?" But that would've been ridiculous, because a.) there would have been nowhere for him to sit except the foyer, the stairs, and other places that aren't really fun to hang out in, and b.) he's a drummer, and plays the acoustic guitar like it's a form of strange, stringed floor tom.
No, as it turns out, my living room stereo turned itself on completely by itself, and began playing the "Mermaid Avenue" album, which I'd been listening to the night before and which I had left in the machine (why not?). Or maybe it was a poltergeist that turned on the stereo? Regardless, that's the kind of life I live - I'm surrounded by self-aware electronic appliances and phantasms of the ether, and they all want to listen to my Billy Bragg and Wilco CD, almost more than me...
Monday, June 7, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Time For Baseball To Introduce The Challenge Flag
Last night, an umpire in Detroit ruled a runner safe at first base on a close play. Replays showed that the runner was out by at least half a step. The umpire was wrong, but the play stood.
This has all happened before, hundreds, maybe thousands of times, in the great game of baseball. Today, there are 30 teams in baseball, and 162 games played each year by each team. And usually, each team needs 27 outs to finish a game - 54 total. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. But you get the picture. When you start multiplying 162 times 54 times 30 times all the years of baseball, you understand how many chances there have been for umpires to make the wrong call (and that's not even bringing up balls and strikes, fair or foul, or anything else - we're just talking about outs). There are going to be mistakes made. And most of the time, that's ok, the sheer weight of the countless number of calls got right will drown the few calls got wrong in a sea of baseball umpiring justice.
Now, back to Detroit, last night, and to last night's blown call at first base. Here's another number: 20. There have been 20 perfect games pitched over the entire history of modern baseball. It's the rarest, toughest feat in baseball, bar none.
And if the ump had gotten the call right last night, that number would've gone up to 21.
Instead, we have hand-wringing, tearful apologies from the umpire (Jim Joyce, whose name will now live in infamy along with Don Denkinger and really nobody else), graceful and classy handling of the situation by the pitcher (Armando Galarraga, who might want to look Pedro Martinez for his thoughts, considering it's going to be hard to reach Harvey Haddix today) and his teammates... but here's what we don't have: justice. And we never will. It's too late. To overturn this call, and give the perfect game to the pitcher who was perfect on June 2nd, 2010, would be to open a massive can of worms which is better left shut.
Baseball will never be able to set things right for Galarraga and Joyce, as well as Tigers catcher Gerald Laird who caught a perfect game but did not, and even Indians shortstop Jason Donald who grounded into the 27th out of a perfect game but did not, whatever he thinks about it.
But baseball can, and should, make some changes. Or maybe just one change. Give managers a challenge flag! One challenge flag per game. Authorize the use of the challenge flag for a limited set of circumstances - boundary calls, calls of safe or out at any base, and maybe a very few other extremely rare occurrences. Let the manager throw the flag if they like, and let the umpires go to the booth for video review.
If there is clear evidence that the wrong call was made, then allow the umpiring crew to overturn the call, and if necessary award extra bases as necessary - say, in the event that a runner who grounded into the third out with a runner on second base is ruled safe after a successful challenge, the umpires could allow that runner on second base to take third.
And if the manager was right, give them back the flag, and allow them to use it again if they feel as if the wrong call was made. And if the manager was wrong, then they don't get it back - that's it for the game.
One challenge flag. That's all. People talk about "the human element" in baseball, as if umpires screwing up is charming somehow. Maybe it is - but it's also "human" to give a manager - a "human" - a challenge flag. Hell, it makes the "human" element more interested and less one-sided. People talk about how the game is too slow, and how instant replay would make that worse. One flag doesn't slow the game down, as opposed to the current argue-argue-kick-dust-eject-the-manager system! That gets things right.
Perhaps time is all relative, and history repeats itself, and all the past mistakes umpires have made will all happen again - but this time, the manager will have a challenge flag to throw.
That means that, in the future, Armando Galarraga's perfect game is perfect. That means that future Joe Mauer hits a double in the ALDS last year, not a long strike two, and the Twins maybe slay that Yankee dragon. That means that the future St Louis Cardinals have another chance to win the World Series in 1985. (And maybe we can set the whole Did Yogi Tag Jackie Out At Home? debate to rest, too - that is to say, when it happens again, in the future).
Sorry to get all quantum on you there, readers. But seriously. Let's give the managers a challenge flag. Just one challenge flag. Try it out, Bud Selig! It won't make the game perfect... but it'll certainly help.
This has all happened before, hundreds, maybe thousands of times, in the great game of baseball. Today, there are 30 teams in baseball, and 162 games played each year by each team. And usually, each team needs 27 outs to finish a game - 54 total. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. But you get the picture. When you start multiplying 162 times 54 times 30 times all the years of baseball, you understand how many chances there have been for umpires to make the wrong call (and that's not even bringing up balls and strikes, fair or foul, or anything else - we're just talking about outs). There are going to be mistakes made. And most of the time, that's ok, the sheer weight of the countless number of calls got right will drown the few calls got wrong in a sea of baseball umpiring justice.
Now, back to Detroit, last night, and to last night's blown call at first base. Here's another number: 20. There have been 20 perfect games pitched over the entire history of modern baseball. It's the rarest, toughest feat in baseball, bar none.
And if the ump had gotten the call right last night, that number would've gone up to 21.
Instead, we have hand-wringing, tearful apologies from the umpire (Jim Joyce, whose name will now live in infamy along with Don Denkinger and really nobody else), graceful and classy handling of the situation by the pitcher (Armando Galarraga, who might want to look Pedro Martinez for his thoughts, considering it's going to be hard to reach Harvey Haddix today) and his teammates... but here's what we don't have: justice. And we never will. It's too late. To overturn this call, and give the perfect game to the pitcher who was perfect on June 2nd, 2010, would be to open a massive can of worms which is better left shut.
Baseball will never be able to set things right for Galarraga and Joyce, as well as Tigers catcher Gerald Laird who caught a perfect game but did not, and even Indians shortstop Jason Donald who grounded into the 27th out of a perfect game but did not, whatever he thinks about it.
But baseball can, and should, make some changes. Or maybe just one change. Give managers a challenge flag! One challenge flag per game. Authorize the use of the challenge flag for a limited set of circumstances - boundary calls, calls of safe or out at any base, and maybe a very few other extremely rare occurrences. Let the manager throw the flag if they like, and let the umpires go to the booth for video review.
If there is clear evidence that the wrong call was made, then allow the umpiring crew to overturn the call, and if necessary award extra bases as necessary - say, in the event that a runner who grounded into the third out with a runner on second base is ruled safe after a successful challenge, the umpires could allow that runner on second base to take third.
And if the manager was right, give them back the flag, and allow them to use it again if they feel as if the wrong call was made. And if the manager was wrong, then they don't get it back - that's it for the game.
One challenge flag. That's all. People talk about "the human element" in baseball, as if umpires screwing up is charming somehow. Maybe it is - but it's also "human" to give a manager - a "human" - a challenge flag. Hell, it makes the "human" element more interested and less one-sided. People talk about how the game is too slow, and how instant replay would make that worse. One flag doesn't slow the game down, as opposed to the current argue-argue-kick-dust-eject-the-manager system! That gets things right.
Perhaps time is all relative, and history repeats itself, and all the past mistakes umpires have made will all happen again - but this time, the manager will have a challenge flag to throw.
That means that, in the future, Armando Galarraga's perfect game is perfect. That means that future Joe Mauer hits a double in the ALDS last year, not a long strike two, and the Twins maybe slay that Yankee dragon. That means that the future St Louis Cardinals have another chance to win the World Series in 1985. (And maybe we can set the whole Did Yogi Tag Jackie Out At Home? debate to rest, too - that is to say, when it happens again, in the future).
Sorry to get all quantum on you there, readers. But seriously. Let's give the managers a challenge flag. Just one challenge flag. Try it out, Bud Selig! It won't make the game perfect... but it'll certainly help.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday At Target Field
On Friday, May 21st, I went to Target Field to see the Milwaukee Brewers play the Minnesota Twins. I went by myself, accidentally on purpose. I bought a scorecard and a pencil, and settled down in the right field bleachers, hangin' out with Michael Cuddyer and Corey Hart.
By the end of the first inning, the Twins had scored seven runs against Brewers starter Dave Bush, all on walks, singles, and doubles. Bush managed to record just one out before he got the hook (he got Justin Morneau to fly out to center). He walked in a run, too. At one point, Bush - normally a very quiet, noncombative presence on the mound - and home plate umpire Ed Rapuano got into a very heated argument, and both men had to be restrained from charging each other! Heh.
Well, obviously, it wasn't much of a game. The Twins took it, 15-3, including another crooked number: a five-run 4th inning against Brewers sad retread Jeff Suppan. But there were a couple other notable moments...
1. Carlos Gomez hit a home run! A three-run homer off sharp Twins starter Nick Blackburn. It was his first homer back here in Minneapolis, where he learned to be a man playing baseball, or at least slightly less of a boy playing baseball. When he tossed the bat after the ball had been well crushed to deep left field, it grazed Twins catcher Joe Mauer. Gomez was apparently unaware of this. Some players, were they to flip their bat and have it hit the opposing catcher, would be ducking and covering the next time they came up to bat - retaliation in the form of a beaning would be appropriate. However, since Carlos is such a goofy, unrestrained character, the Twins didn't seem to mind. Gomez apologized immediately after the game, and the Twins took it with good humor. But, for example, had it been "Hollywood" Braun? SMACK. PLUNK. CRUNCH.
2. Carlos Gomez fell over swinging at a breaking ball! That happened before the home run, and the crowd cheered and laughed a little. Again: we here in the Twin Cities are very familiar with Go-Go. I'm going to step in with a little editorial here: I fully support Carlos Gomez, and the way he plays ball. He's always exciting, even when his lack of finesse is maddening. This year, his good offensive numbers (power, on-base pct.) are up. As long as he plays his highlight-worthy defense in center field, and hits reasonably well, he can occasionally screw up the etiquette/refinement part of the game. Which, as we all know, is all kind of bullshit anyway. In today's media-friendly major leagues, Bob Gibson would be muzzled and/or drummed out of the game. More on that another time.
3. Todd Coffey! He ran out at full steam to finish the game in the 8th inning, when the Twins victory was just about inevitable. The fans sitting around me in the bleachers had never seen this guy before, and they were all very, very impressed. I wish he could've had his intro music ("The Ultimate Warrior Theme Song") playing, though - that would've probably been enough to start a Minnesota Twins Fans Who Love Todd Coffey Fan Club.
4. PLOOOOOOOOOOOUFFFE! Trevor Plouffe, a rookie from the Twins farm system, was brought up for this game to sub for the injured starting shortstop J.J. Hardy (a former Brewer, by the way). If there's one thing I've learned about crowds, it's that given the chance to shout/bellow/bay a word with the "oooo" sound in it, they will seize the moment with aplomb! BRUUUUUUUUCE... Bruce Springsteen. KUUUUUUUUUUUUUB... Jason Kubel. YOUUUUUUUUUUK... Kevin Youkilis. And now Trevor Plouffe. He acquited himself well, playing solid defense at short, and batting two for five with two RBI's and a double. Note: Ploof is the sound a sack of flour makes when dropped from the top of a ten-story building.
Allright, that's Friday, May 21st. The Brewers were, in a word, annihilated. But the weekend wasn't all lost for the Brew Crew - and I will write another entry soon about my very different experience at Target Field on Sunday, May 23rd. Stay tuned for the next installment of Nato's Rock And Roll And Baseball Blog, now with 100% more coverage of John Axford's moustache!
By the end of the first inning, the Twins had scored seven runs against Brewers starter Dave Bush, all on walks, singles, and doubles. Bush managed to record just one out before he got the hook (he got Justin Morneau to fly out to center). He walked in a run, too. At one point, Bush - normally a very quiet, noncombative presence on the mound - and home plate umpire Ed Rapuano got into a very heated argument, and both men had to be restrained from charging each other! Heh.
Well, obviously, it wasn't much of a game. The Twins took it, 15-3, including another crooked number: a five-run 4th inning against Brewers sad retread Jeff Suppan. But there were a couple other notable moments...
1. Carlos Gomez hit a home run! A three-run homer off sharp Twins starter Nick Blackburn. It was his first homer back here in Minneapolis, where he learned to be a man playing baseball, or at least slightly less of a boy playing baseball. When he tossed the bat after the ball had been well crushed to deep left field, it grazed Twins catcher Joe Mauer. Gomez was apparently unaware of this. Some players, were they to flip their bat and have it hit the opposing catcher, would be ducking and covering the next time they came up to bat - retaliation in the form of a beaning would be appropriate. However, since Carlos is such a goofy, unrestrained character, the Twins didn't seem to mind. Gomez apologized immediately after the game, and the Twins took it with good humor. But, for example, had it been "Hollywood" Braun? SMACK. PLUNK. CRUNCH.
2. Carlos Gomez fell over swinging at a breaking ball! That happened before the home run, and the crowd cheered and laughed a little. Again: we here in the Twin Cities are very familiar with Go-Go. I'm going to step in with a little editorial here: I fully support Carlos Gomez, and the way he plays ball. He's always exciting, even when his lack of finesse is maddening. This year, his good offensive numbers (power, on-base pct.) are up. As long as he plays his highlight-worthy defense in center field, and hits reasonably well, he can occasionally screw up the etiquette/refinement part of the game. Which, as we all know, is all kind of bullshit anyway. In today's media-friendly major leagues, Bob Gibson would be muzzled and/or drummed out of the game. More on that another time.
3. Todd Coffey! He ran out at full steam to finish the game in the 8th inning, when the Twins victory was just about inevitable. The fans sitting around me in the bleachers had never seen this guy before, and they were all very, very impressed. I wish he could've had his intro music ("The Ultimate Warrior Theme Song") playing, though - that would've probably been enough to start a Minnesota Twins Fans Who Love Todd Coffey Fan Club.
4. PLOOOOOOOOOOOUFFFE! Trevor Plouffe, a rookie from the Twins farm system, was brought up for this game to sub for the injured starting shortstop J.J. Hardy (a former Brewer, by the way). If there's one thing I've learned about crowds, it's that given the chance to shout/bellow/bay a word with the "oooo" sound in it, they will seize the moment with aplomb! BRUUUUUUUUCE... Bruce Springsteen. KUUUUUUUUUUUUUB... Jason Kubel. YOUUUUUUUUUUK... Kevin Youkilis. And now Trevor Plouffe. He acquited himself well, playing solid defense at short, and batting two for five with two RBI's and a double. Note: Ploof is the sound a sack of flour makes when dropped from the top of a ten-story building.
Allright, that's Friday, May 21st. The Brewers were, in a word, annihilated. But the weekend wasn't all lost for the Brew Crew - and I will write another entry soon about my very different experience at Target Field on Sunday, May 23rd. Stay tuned for the next installment of Nato's Rock And Roll And Baseball Blog, now with 100% more coverage of John Axford's moustache!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Hello Again (A Long Entry To Make Up For A Long Gap In Entries)
Hi everybody. Sorry it's taken me so long to update this dusty old blog, but I've been a very busy baseball-fan rock-and-roller. Let me explain...
First off, I went on tour. And for much of the tour, I was playing solo. That dramatically cuts down on free time. Then again, the way I tour (lazily), I'm not sure that's a good excuse! Anyway, it was a great time.
I played with my Twin Cities band (the Blue Diamond Band) in Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and Chicago. The first two were phenomenal - check out the pictures up at www.myspace.com/natocoles, if you're interested. But... Chicago! Oh, Chicago, you Sick Man of the Midwestern Scene*. Despite the heroic efforts of the awesome Blackbelts, there were few people at the show indeed. Based on my experiences elsewhere, with rabid fanbases numbering even into the high teens (!), I just can't fathom why Chicago would show me such a cold shoulder. Maybe I shoulda played Broukal's in Blue Island. Luckily, there was an awesome afterparty, with foosball and snacks. And drinks. And I'm pretty sure somebody had a prescription for their glaucoma if you know what I'm saying.
*In the 1800's, the Ottoman Empire was called "the Sick Man of Europe," because although it controlled lots of territory, it was a dysfunctional government with virtually no military power whatsoever, propped up only by the diplomatic machinations of England, Russia, Germany, and the like. This is pretty much the basis for the board game RISK.
Anyway, the Blue Diamond Band headed home after Chicago, and I headed east. After a couple good solo shows in Detroit (a bonfire with Bobby from The State Lottery) and Cleveland (at The Soggy Dog House, Cavs game on mute), accompanied on the long drives only by my trusty ally and confidantessa Sara ("The Most Powerful Woman In Washington D.C."), I made it to New York City.
I love New York City. I used to live there, and I have to admit, I miss the New Yorkiness of it all. The crowds! The buildings! The subway! The noise, the heat, the traffic... these things are almost charming, if you don't have to live amongst them day in, day out. And the people are great. Joining me for three east coast rock shows were Jon and Jimmy from the excellent band Sandworms, and my nominee for "Most Interesting Man In The World Who Does Not Prefer Dos Equis," Mario Viele (a St. Louis ex-pat who is pretty sure he knows who Albert Pujols is and that he's a pretty good batter or something).
It was great to see all my friends in Brooklyn. My old Used Kids bandmate Danny has a great new band called - brace yourselves - Marvin Berry And The New Sound. Great Scott!, what a good band name. Good band, too. We played one of my favorite shows I've ever played at Lulu's, a great bar in Greenpoint (neighborhood of Brooklyn). Also, with this Jon/Jimmy/Mario band, we played in New Brunswick, New Jersey. After that show, I played a solo set at one of my favorite unknown bars in America: McCormick's! Jay Insult DJ'd, because he is the best person to do that in the universe. And to ice the cake, I raced over to old Used Kids bandmate C.J.'s "Bad Hug Radio" show, and played some songs on that! Look it up. The last show with that band was in Philadelphia, at J.R.'s Bar. This bar is CRAZY. It was awesome, enough said!
For the rest of the tour, down to Florida and then back up to the Twin Cities, I was on my own. I had a picnic in historic Ft. Lauderdale, randomly encountering my very good friend Colin (who does sliceharvester.com, a document of one man's attempt to eat a slice of pizza at every pizzeria in NYC). I rocked Gainesville, Florida on Cinco De Mayo with The (acoustic) Grabass Charlestons, and Dave and Rich (acoustic) from Vaginasore Jr. (what a name!). I did an impromptu "Storytellers"-style set with Russ Van Cleeve from The Tim Version in St. Petersburg. Most importantly out of anything I did on this tour, I played a set of Tom Petty covers at Aaron and Robin's wedding on the beautiful Gulf Coast beach - which, at the time, was entirely oil-free.
On the way back north, I played a cool set in Atlanta, on a bill with one of my favorite bands I'd never heard before - North Trolls. In Chattanooga, I played requests to the loyal few in the backyard of JJ's on Dollar Beer Night! In other words, it went well. And in Carbondale... hoo boy.
I have two tales to tell of Carbondale. First off, on Ray Suburbia's orders, a bunch of my friends and I drove out to the hamlet of Neunert, IL, less than a mile from the Mississippi River near Fountain Bluff, to get insanely cheap, outrageously awesome fried chicken. Seems that Wednesdays, a bar out there called Bottoms Up has a special where you can get half a chicken for $2.50, plus dollar beers and dollar sides (including GREEN BEANS WITH BACON BITS, a favorite of mine). Well, word had gotten out, and it was the last Wednesday with college still in session at Southern Illinois U, so the wait was horrific: two hours and fifteen minutes for our food! But we waited (and took advantage of those dollar beers), and it was amazing. I can't remember the last time I ate so fast, or that fried chicken tasted so good.
The second tale is of the show. It started late. How late? LATE. It started at 2:30am! And that was just the first band! There were THREE BANDS, including me. I'm as night-owlish as they come, but I feared the worst: would anybody make it to the end with me? Nick said "play until dawn," and so I did. And believe it or not, a handful of folks did watch the whole thing! I took what requests I could, ending with "Achin' To Be" by the Replacements (as I often like to), put my guitar and harmonicas away, and scrambled up the block to crash on a soft couch in front of a cooling breeze from a fan. AHHHhhh...
Well, that's that. I got home on May 14th, had a birthday party, and have since settled back into Twin Cities Livin' (tm). That's the rock and roll side of things. Turning our attention to Cinco Diamond Sacks, here are some thoughts I have regarding the first quarter of the 2010 Major League Baseball calendar.
1. The Minnesota Twins, Tampa Bay Rays, and New York Yankees are really good, because they can hit and they can pitch. One of these three teams is going to win the AL Pennant. Mark my words.
2. The Milwaukee Brewers are not really good, because they can't pitch. At all. Except for Yovanni Gallardo. And that's a shame, because their shitty overall record is going to steal Ryan Braun's 2010 NL MVP award away from him, and give it to some undeserving clown like Albert Pujols or something. Also not really good: the Kansas City Royals, the Seattle Mariners, the Bal'mor Orioles, and the Houston Astros. I'm not ready to nail the casket shut yet on anyone else, but it looks pretty grim for the aforementioned Fucked Five.
3. Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball, and has been for the past five-plus years. Not that anybody in the mainstream media noticed, because most of those years were in Toronto. It occurs to me that if you asked the average Yankee fan, "who would you rather have starting Game One of the World Series, Roy Halladay or Andy Pettite?", that fan would definitely at least have to think about it.
3.a. It's really a shame that the Blue Jays can't draw fans anymore. The Skydome used to be ON FIRE when the Jays were playing at home. Now? Crowds at Toronto games at the Rogers Centre aren't quite down to Marlins tomblike numbers, but it sure looks a lot like some of those World Baseball Classic games when the Netherlands would square off against Italy (if that actually happened). Somebody in the Blue Jays organization really needs to shake things up.
4. Jason Heyward, that Atlanta Braves rookie phenom? FOR REAL. For my money, he's got Rookie Of The Year wrapped up. If Stephen Strasburg even wants consideration, he would have to combine Pedro Martinez's 2000 season with Eric Gagne's 2003, and toss in Micah Owing's bat to boot.
5. Did you think I'd get out of this entry without even mentioning the White Sox once? Well, the pitching has been a disappointment and hitting has been what we thought it would be (not great), and so they're headed straight for the middle, like the Replacements used to joke on long van rides... but we'll always have this (it's been all downhill since Opening Day, when this amazing play occurred): http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100405&content_id=9079870&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=cws
Ok. If you made it through my entire blog entry, good for you! The next ones will be shorter. I'm headed to two, if not all three of the Twins/Brewers games at Target Field this weekend. I will report back when I'm able! See ya later.
First off, I went on tour. And for much of the tour, I was playing solo. That dramatically cuts down on free time. Then again, the way I tour (lazily), I'm not sure that's a good excuse! Anyway, it was a great time.
I played with my Twin Cities band (the Blue Diamond Band) in Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and Chicago. The first two were phenomenal - check out the pictures up at www.myspace.com/natocoles, if you're interested. But... Chicago! Oh, Chicago, you Sick Man of the Midwestern Scene*. Despite the heroic efforts of the awesome Blackbelts, there were few people at the show indeed. Based on my experiences elsewhere, with rabid fanbases numbering even into the high teens (!), I just can't fathom why Chicago would show me such a cold shoulder. Maybe I shoulda played Broukal's in Blue Island. Luckily, there was an awesome afterparty, with foosball and snacks. And drinks. And I'm pretty sure somebody had a prescription for their glaucoma if you know what I'm saying.
*In the 1800's, the Ottoman Empire was called "the Sick Man of Europe," because although it controlled lots of territory, it was a dysfunctional government with virtually no military power whatsoever, propped up only by the diplomatic machinations of England, Russia, Germany, and the like. This is pretty much the basis for the board game RISK.
Anyway, the Blue Diamond Band headed home after Chicago, and I headed east. After a couple good solo shows in Detroit (a bonfire with Bobby from The State Lottery) and Cleveland (at The Soggy Dog House, Cavs game on mute), accompanied on the long drives only by my trusty ally and confidantessa Sara ("The Most Powerful Woman In Washington D.C."), I made it to New York City.
I love New York City. I used to live there, and I have to admit, I miss the New Yorkiness of it all. The crowds! The buildings! The subway! The noise, the heat, the traffic... these things are almost charming, if you don't have to live amongst them day in, day out. And the people are great. Joining me for three east coast rock shows were Jon and Jimmy from the excellent band Sandworms, and my nominee for "Most Interesting Man In The World Who Does Not Prefer Dos Equis," Mario Viele (a St. Louis ex-pat who is pretty sure he knows who Albert Pujols is and that he's a pretty good batter or something).
It was great to see all my friends in Brooklyn. My old Used Kids bandmate Danny has a great new band called - brace yourselves - Marvin Berry And The New Sound. Great Scott!, what a good band name. Good band, too. We played one of my favorite shows I've ever played at Lulu's, a great bar in Greenpoint (neighborhood of Brooklyn). Also, with this Jon/Jimmy/Mario band, we played in New Brunswick, New Jersey. After that show, I played a solo set at one of my favorite unknown bars in America: McCormick's! Jay Insult DJ'd, because he is the best person to do that in the universe. And to ice the cake, I raced over to old Used Kids bandmate C.J.'s "Bad Hug Radio" show, and played some songs on that! Look it up. The last show with that band was in Philadelphia, at J.R.'s Bar. This bar is CRAZY. It was awesome, enough said!
For the rest of the tour, down to Florida and then back up to the Twin Cities, I was on my own. I had a picnic in historic Ft. Lauderdale, randomly encountering my very good friend Colin (who does sliceharvester.com, a document of one man's attempt to eat a slice of pizza at every pizzeria in NYC). I rocked Gainesville, Florida on Cinco De Mayo with The (acoustic) Grabass Charlestons, and Dave and Rich (acoustic) from Vaginasore Jr. (what a name!). I did an impromptu "Storytellers"-style set with Russ Van Cleeve from The Tim Version in St. Petersburg. Most importantly out of anything I did on this tour, I played a set of Tom Petty covers at Aaron and Robin's wedding on the beautiful Gulf Coast beach - which, at the time, was entirely oil-free.
On the way back north, I played a cool set in Atlanta, on a bill with one of my favorite bands I'd never heard before - North Trolls. In Chattanooga, I played requests to the loyal few in the backyard of JJ's on Dollar Beer Night! In other words, it went well. And in Carbondale... hoo boy.
I have two tales to tell of Carbondale. First off, on Ray Suburbia's orders, a bunch of my friends and I drove out to the hamlet of Neunert, IL, less than a mile from the Mississippi River near Fountain Bluff, to get insanely cheap, outrageously awesome fried chicken. Seems that Wednesdays, a bar out there called Bottoms Up has a special where you can get half a chicken for $2.50, plus dollar beers and dollar sides (including GREEN BEANS WITH BACON BITS, a favorite of mine). Well, word had gotten out, and it was the last Wednesday with college still in session at Southern Illinois U, so the wait was horrific: two hours and fifteen minutes for our food! But we waited (and took advantage of those dollar beers), and it was amazing. I can't remember the last time I ate so fast, or that fried chicken tasted so good.
The second tale is of the show. It started late. How late? LATE. It started at 2:30am! And that was just the first band! There were THREE BANDS, including me. I'm as night-owlish as they come, but I feared the worst: would anybody make it to the end with me? Nick said "play until dawn," and so I did. And believe it or not, a handful of folks did watch the whole thing! I took what requests I could, ending with "Achin' To Be" by the Replacements (as I often like to), put my guitar and harmonicas away, and scrambled up the block to crash on a soft couch in front of a cooling breeze from a fan. AHHHhhh...
Well, that's that. I got home on May 14th, had a birthday party, and have since settled back into Twin Cities Livin' (tm). That's the rock and roll side of things. Turning our attention to Cinco Diamond Sacks, here are some thoughts I have regarding the first quarter of the 2010 Major League Baseball calendar.
1. The Minnesota Twins, Tampa Bay Rays, and New York Yankees are really good, because they can hit and they can pitch. One of these three teams is going to win the AL Pennant. Mark my words.
2. The Milwaukee Brewers are not really good, because they can't pitch. At all. Except for Yovanni Gallardo. And that's a shame, because their shitty overall record is going to steal Ryan Braun's 2010 NL MVP award away from him, and give it to some undeserving clown like Albert Pujols or something. Also not really good: the Kansas City Royals, the Seattle Mariners, the Bal'mor Orioles, and the Houston Astros. I'm not ready to nail the casket shut yet on anyone else, but it looks pretty grim for the aforementioned Fucked Five.
3. Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball, and has been for the past five-plus years. Not that anybody in the mainstream media noticed, because most of those years were in Toronto. It occurs to me that if you asked the average Yankee fan, "who would you rather have starting Game One of the World Series, Roy Halladay or Andy Pettite?", that fan would definitely at least have to think about it.
3.a. It's really a shame that the Blue Jays can't draw fans anymore. The Skydome used to be ON FIRE when the Jays were playing at home. Now? Crowds at Toronto games at the Rogers Centre aren't quite down to Marlins tomblike numbers, but it sure looks a lot like some of those World Baseball Classic games when the Netherlands would square off against Italy (if that actually happened). Somebody in the Blue Jays organization really needs to shake things up.
4. Jason Heyward, that Atlanta Braves rookie phenom? FOR REAL. For my money, he's got Rookie Of The Year wrapped up. If Stephen Strasburg even wants consideration, he would have to combine Pedro Martinez's 2000 season with Eric Gagne's 2003, and toss in Micah Owing's bat to boot.
5. Did you think I'd get out of this entry without even mentioning the White Sox once? Well, the pitching has been a disappointment and hitting has been what we thought it would be (not great), and so they're headed straight for the middle, like the Replacements used to joke on long van rides... but we'll always have this (it's been all downhill since Opening Day, when this amazing play occurred): http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100405&content_id=9079870&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=cws
Ok. If you made it through my entire blog entry, good for you! The next ones will be shorter. I'm headed to two, if not all three of the Twins/Brewers games at Target Field this weekend. I will report back when I'm able! See ya later.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Should We Talk About The Weather?
Is it too cold to play outdoor baseball in Minneapolis during early April and late October?
Short answer: no, I don't think so. But over at one of my favorite websites, www.joeposnanski.com, I got embroiled in a climatological debate in the comments thread of his excellent "Something To Think About 4/12" post, which consists of a couple lines from that great old Saturday Night Live skit where Dana Carvey plays George Will hosting a sports quiz show: George Will's Sports Machine. Funny stuff, I wish I could find a link to that...
Anyway, here's some climate data from Minneapolis, Chicago, Detroit, and Boston. After checking it out, it's clear that Minneapolis is measurably less hospitable to outdoor ball in early April and late October. But sometimes, the differences are so small (in particular, there's almost no difference between April in Minneapolis and Detroit), that I just don't see any reason for panic.
But please, don't believe me. Here are the numbers:
Mpls:
April high/mean/low: 57.0/46.6/38.2
October h/m/l: 58.4/48.7/38.9
Average April precipitation/snow (inches): 2.31/3.1
Average number of April days with precipitation/snow: 11.3/2.2
Average October precip./snow (inches):
2.11/0.6
Average October days w precip/snow: 8.4/0.6
Chicago:
April h/m/l: 59.2/49.7/40.2
October h/m/l: 63.2/54.1/44.9
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.82/1.4
Avg April days w precip/snow: 11.6/1.0
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 2.79/0.1
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 9.7/0.2
Detroit:
April h/m/l: 57.8/48.1/38.4
October h/m/l: 61.2/51.9/42.5
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.05/1.7
Avg April days w precip/snow: 12.6/2.1
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 2.23/0.3
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 9.8/0.3
Boston:
April h/m/l: 56.1/48.3/40.5
October h/m/l: 61.8/54.1/46.4
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.6/1.1
Avg April days w precip/snow: 11.0/0.7
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 3.79/0
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 8.0/0
Let's hear it for data!
Short answer: no, I don't think so. But over at one of my favorite websites, www.joeposnanski.com, I got embroiled in a climatological debate in the comments thread of his excellent "Something To Think About 4/12" post, which consists of a couple lines from that great old Saturday Night Live skit where Dana Carvey plays George Will hosting a sports quiz show: George Will's Sports Machine. Funny stuff, I wish I could find a link to that...
Anyway, here's some climate data from Minneapolis, Chicago, Detroit, and Boston. After checking it out, it's clear that Minneapolis is measurably less hospitable to outdoor ball in early April and late October. But sometimes, the differences are so small (in particular, there's almost no difference between April in Minneapolis and Detroit), that I just don't see any reason for panic.
But please, don't believe me. Here are the numbers:
Mpls:
April high/mean/low: 57.0/46.6/38.2
October h/m/l: 58.4/48.7/38.9
Average April precipitation/snow (inches): 2.31/3.1
Average number of April days with precipitation/snow: 11.3/2.2
Average October precip./snow (inches):
2.11/0.6
Average October days w precip/snow: 8.4/0.6
Chicago:
April h/m/l: 59.2/49.7/40.2
October h/m/l: 63.2/54.1/44.9
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.82/1.4
Avg April days w precip/snow: 11.6/1.0
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 2.79/0.1
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 9.7/0.2
Detroit:
April h/m/l: 57.8/48.1/38.4
October h/m/l: 61.2/51.9/42.5
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.05/1.7
Avg April days w precip/snow: 12.6/2.1
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 2.23/0.3
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 9.8/0.3
Boston:
April h/m/l: 56.1/48.3/40.5
October h/m/l: 61.8/54.1/46.4
Avg April precip/snow (in): 3.6/1.1
Avg April days w precip/snow: 11.0/0.7
Avg Oct precip/snow (in): 3.79/0
Avg Oct days w precip/snow: 8.0/0
Let's hear it for data!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Warmup Music For Professional Closers Of Today
I was reading today about the Minnesota Twins' home opener, the inaugural game at their new ballpark Target Field, and I learned that Jon Rauch, the anointed 2010 Twins closer hustled into said role earlier this year to replace future Tommy John surgery survivor Joe Nathan, gets his act warmed up to the strains of Metallica's "Wherever I May Roam."
Well, ok. Good for him. Another closer with another generic, uninspired choice of crap metal warmup tuneage. Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera of the Brewers and Yankees respectively use the only decent heavy warmup music - "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC and "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, where the former is only particularly cool because of the bell sound effect (does anybody really want to argue that the song itself is a particularly choice cut? Nah, me neither), and the latter because, well, it's pretty much an awesome, badass tune for the greatest closer of all time to use. Further, my friend Ryan Poortenga has already identified the song "Reign In Blood" by Slayer as the ultimate closer music - thus rendering all other modern, post-NWOBH* metal song choices weak and pale in comparison (with the two exceptions I just made - and "Hell's Bells" isn't really "post-NWOBH" anyway). And as long as "Reign In Blood" goes unused, I will use this forum to suggest more appropriate into/warmup music for the professional closers of today.
For starters, Jon Rauch needs a new tune. Considering his considerable height, I think that "I Can See For Miles" by The Who is the obvious choice.
Moving on, my close(r) personal friend Bobby Jenks of the Chicago White Sox uses some piece of garbage by P.O.D. as his intro music. That is a big fat no. And since Bobby is a girth-positive individual (albeit slighly less so this year), I recommend the "Weird Al" Yankovic tune "Fat," which of course is a parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad." And he needs to use the intro dialogue, i.e. "you ain't fat! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!" to set the tone and put the other team in their place before he even hits the mound.
I'm sort of impressed with Jonathan Papelbon's choice of "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" by The Dropkick Murphys (written by my actual father, Woody Guthrie!). But we can do better, and we must do better! His nickname is Chucky, due to his resemblance to that terrifying doll from the "Child's Play" movies. So let's retire "Boston," but borrow the idea of a current band covering an old song. Listen to the theme music for the movie "Child's Play" - seriously, do it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhWm_uGwKAc. Now imagine the Canadian art-thrash band Fucked Up covering it, in drop-C# with a full-on roar. 9th Inning death magic at Fenway? Oh yeah!
San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson uses the song "Disciple" by Christian metal band Rise Up, which is obviously not a Beach Boys song, but upon further reflection, I'm not sure The Beach Boys ever recorded an appropriate song for a closer to use. Hey Beach Boys fans - any ideas? For now, I'll play the trump card and suggest he use "Reign In Blood" by Slayer (which as previously discussed is THE ULTIMATE CLOSER SONG), since he's such a good little Christian and all.
While not a closer, current free agent and noted redhead Seth McClung was a good pitcher for the Brewers when used properly out of the bullpen. With his mid-90's fastball and a couple other good working pitches, he strikes me as closer material down the line. His song? The music from the Saturday Night Live fake toy commercial "Big Red." I wish I could find a link for you people who are unfamiliar with it, but trust me when I say it's perfect, rollicking, rocking stuff. And very McClung-appropriate!
Allright, that'll do it for now. However, as the season progresses, I'll write one or two follow-ups to this article. For example, there is no way that Joakim Soria should be using "Welcome To The Jungle" - he's the goddamn Mexicutioner! With a nickname like that, he needs something with more of a South Of The Border flavor, or at least something by Los Crudos.
Please feel free to submit your own ideas. This ain't over.
*New Wave Of British Heavy Metal
Well, ok. Good for him. Another closer with another generic, uninspired choice of crap metal warmup tuneage. Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera of the Brewers and Yankees respectively use the only decent heavy warmup music - "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC and "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, where the former is only particularly cool because of the bell sound effect (does anybody really want to argue that the song itself is a particularly choice cut? Nah, me neither), and the latter because, well, it's pretty much an awesome, badass tune for the greatest closer of all time to use. Further, my friend Ryan Poortenga has already identified the song "Reign In Blood" by Slayer as the ultimate closer music - thus rendering all other modern, post-NWOBH* metal song choices weak and pale in comparison (with the two exceptions I just made - and "Hell's Bells" isn't really "post-NWOBH" anyway). And as long as "Reign In Blood" goes unused, I will use this forum to suggest more appropriate into/warmup music for the professional closers of today.
For starters, Jon Rauch needs a new tune. Considering his considerable height, I think that "I Can See For Miles" by The Who is the obvious choice.
Moving on, my close(r) personal friend Bobby Jenks of the Chicago White Sox uses some piece of garbage by P.O.D. as his intro music. That is a big fat no. And since Bobby is a girth-positive individual (albeit slighly less so this year), I recommend the "Weird Al" Yankovic tune "Fat," which of course is a parody of Michael Jackson's "Bad." And he needs to use the intro dialogue, i.e. "you ain't fat! You ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN'!" to set the tone and put the other team in their place before he even hits the mound.
I'm sort of impressed with Jonathan Papelbon's choice of "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" by The Dropkick Murphys (written by my actual father, Woody Guthrie!). But we can do better, and we must do better! His nickname is Chucky, due to his resemblance to that terrifying doll from the "Child's Play" movies. So let's retire "Boston," but borrow the idea of a current band covering an old song. Listen to the theme music for the movie "Child's Play" - seriously, do it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhWm_uGwKAc. Now imagine the Canadian art-thrash band Fucked Up covering it, in drop-C# with a full-on roar. 9th Inning death magic at Fenway? Oh yeah!
San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson uses the song "Disciple" by Christian metal band Rise Up, which is obviously not a Beach Boys song, but upon further reflection, I'm not sure The Beach Boys ever recorded an appropriate song for a closer to use. Hey Beach Boys fans - any ideas? For now, I'll play the trump card and suggest he use "Reign In Blood" by Slayer (which as previously discussed is THE ULTIMATE CLOSER SONG), since he's such a good little Christian and all.
While not a closer, current free agent and noted redhead Seth McClung was a good pitcher for the Brewers when used properly out of the bullpen. With his mid-90's fastball and a couple other good working pitches, he strikes me as closer material down the line. His song? The music from the Saturday Night Live fake toy commercial "Big Red." I wish I could find a link for you people who are unfamiliar with it, but trust me when I say it's perfect, rollicking, rocking stuff. And very McClung-appropriate!
Allright, that'll do it for now. However, as the season progresses, I'll write one or two follow-ups to this article. For example, there is no way that Joakim Soria should be using "Welcome To The Jungle" - he's the goddamn Mexicutioner! With a nickname like that, he needs something with more of a South Of The Border flavor, or at least something by Los Crudos.
Please feel free to submit your own ideas. This ain't over.
*New Wave Of British Heavy Metal
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Musings Upon Three Days Into The 2010 Season...
Here we go, here we go, here we go. Opening Day is already in the rear-view. We're in the trenches, folks. Let's take a look around the big leagues, huh?
1. It's been a long time coming, but Jim Thome has decided to bring back the "Baltimore Chop" this year. The free agent slugger turned Minnesota Twin took advantage of his first big pinch-hit opportunity to bounce a grounder in front of home plate high enough into the air that he almost beat it out for a single. Remember, this is Jim Thome we're talking about. Perhaps he's trying to make up for the speed lost when Carlos Gomez was traded away?* I hope I don't have to say it too often this year, but I fear the worst: why is Ron Gardenhire not giving Thome more starts against right-handed pitching? Refer to my earlier blog entry ("Thome Time") for more detailed research on the topic. Or don't.
2. Mark Buehrle is whatever the opposite of a schlemiel is, and also, whatever the opposite of a schlamazel is. His deflect-dive-flip-out play on Opening Day was just remarkable! Watch it on YouTube (or maybe whitesox.mlb.com). Or on every single "Baseball Tonight" promo from here to eternity.
3. I had occasion to post this on facebook the other day: "Nathan Coles is learning fantasy baseball lessons, such as: the guy (Ian Stewart) who you just dropped from your (fantasy) team will be the guy who hits a home run against your (real) team (the Milwaukee Brewers), but it's ok because your (fantasy) opponent has the (Brewers) pitcher on his team. WTFFTW."
4. Jason Heyward, rookie outfielder for the Atlanta Braves is going to be something else this year. "Heyward the home run Jason hit on Opening Day finally come down?" "Two towns over..." When it comes to writing about prospects, I'm no Peter Gammons (although I suspect I can out blues-rock him when the chips are down), but it's hard to see anyone else taking NL Rookie Of The Year this year, unless pitchers Aroldis Chapman or Stephen Strasburg have insanity in their numbers, or Brewers shortstop Alcides Escobar can somehow perfect a double-backflip while turning an unassisted triple play.
5. Downhearted because your favorite team started the year with a 0-1 record? Losing on Opening Day is not a great predictor of how your team's season will go. However, since 1996 began (the first year with a full slate of April games after the stupid strike in '94 robbed the Expos of certain postseason glory, and by extension, Montreal of Major League Baseball itself), only 22 out of the 112 teams that have made the playoffs finished April with losing records**. 28 teams have met in the World Series since 1995. Of them, only four finished April in debt to the Win Gods. Think about that as the month named for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles's favorite tv reporter unfolds. Don't push the panic button if your favorite team hits International Labor Day with a losing record - but do be aware of the odds, and how they begin to stack against you, like evil pancakes.
*Meanwhile, Carlos Gomez hit the first home run of the season for the Milwaukee Brewers. However, since he also stole a base, we can be reasonably certain that he and Jim Thome are not disguised as each other for some nefarious purpose, or perhaps as a result of some ill-conceived wager ("Ok big guy, it's infield singles versus home runs. Loser has to kiss Ron Gardenhire on New Year's Eve at midnight.")
**How bad can you be and still make the playoffs? Last year (2009), the Colorado Rockies finished April with an 8-12 record. They struggled through May, and on June 1st, they were 20-29. Then, something clicked (to those who say that managers don't matter, consider that Clint Hurdle ran the team for the first 46 games; after he was fired, the Jim Tracy-led Rockies went 74-42. There could be any number of reasons for this, but I'd like to suggest that we not rule out managerial skills entirely...). Colorado tore it up for the rest of the season, and made the playoffs via the Wild Card. Whereupon they were promptly bounced by the Phillies... who started the season 27-20. So it goes.
1. It's been a long time coming, but Jim Thome has decided to bring back the "Baltimore Chop" this year. The free agent slugger turned Minnesota Twin took advantage of his first big pinch-hit opportunity to bounce a grounder in front of home plate high enough into the air that he almost beat it out for a single. Remember, this is Jim Thome we're talking about. Perhaps he's trying to make up for the speed lost when Carlos Gomez was traded away?* I hope I don't have to say it too often this year, but I fear the worst: why is Ron Gardenhire not giving Thome more starts against right-handed pitching? Refer to my earlier blog entry ("Thome Time") for more detailed research on the topic. Or don't.
2. Mark Buehrle is whatever the opposite of a schlemiel is, and also, whatever the opposite of a schlamazel is. His deflect-dive-flip-out play on Opening Day was just remarkable! Watch it on YouTube (or maybe whitesox.mlb.com). Or on every single "Baseball Tonight" promo from here to eternity.
3. I had occasion to post this on facebook the other day: "Nathan Coles is learning fantasy baseball lessons, such as: the guy (Ian Stewart) who you just dropped from your (fantasy) team will be the guy who hits a home run against your (real) team (the Milwaukee Brewers), but it's ok because your (fantasy) opponent has the (Brewers) pitcher on his team. WTFFTW."
4. Jason Heyward, rookie outfielder for the Atlanta Braves is going to be something else this year. "Heyward the home run Jason hit on Opening Day finally come down?" "Two towns over..." When it comes to writing about prospects, I'm no Peter Gammons (although I suspect I can out blues-rock him when the chips are down), but it's hard to see anyone else taking NL Rookie Of The Year this year, unless pitchers Aroldis Chapman or Stephen Strasburg have insanity in their numbers, or Brewers shortstop Alcides Escobar can somehow perfect a double-backflip while turning an unassisted triple play.
5. Downhearted because your favorite team started the year with a 0-1 record? Losing on Opening Day is not a great predictor of how your team's season will go. However, since 1996 began (the first year with a full slate of April games after the stupid strike in '94 robbed the Expos of certain postseason glory, and by extension, Montreal of Major League Baseball itself), only 22 out of the 112 teams that have made the playoffs finished April with losing records**. 28 teams have met in the World Series since 1995. Of them, only four finished April in debt to the Win Gods. Think about that as the month named for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles's favorite tv reporter unfolds. Don't push the panic button if your favorite team hits International Labor Day with a losing record - but do be aware of the odds, and how they begin to stack against you, like evil pancakes.
*Meanwhile, Carlos Gomez hit the first home run of the season for the Milwaukee Brewers. However, since he also stole a base, we can be reasonably certain that he and Jim Thome are not disguised as each other for some nefarious purpose, or perhaps as a result of some ill-conceived wager ("Ok big guy, it's infield singles versus home runs. Loser has to kiss Ron Gardenhire on New Year's Eve at midnight.")
**How bad can you be and still make the playoffs? Last year (2009), the Colorado Rockies finished April with an 8-12 record. They struggled through May, and on June 1st, they were 20-29. Then, something clicked (to those who say that managers don't matter, consider that Clint Hurdle ran the team for the first 46 games; after he was fired, the Jim Tracy-led Rockies went 74-42. There could be any number of reasons for this, but I'd like to suggest that we not rule out managerial skills entirely...). Colorado tore it up for the rest of the season, and made the playoffs via the Wild Card. Whereupon they were promptly bounced by the Phillies... who started the season 27-20. So it goes.
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