Thursday, July 8, 2010

Comments On The Internet

(Important note: this entry is neither entirely about rock and roll or baseball. Not even close. If you therefore feel compelled to skip it, so be it. However,

It's Thursday, July 8th, 2010, and tonight a very famous and very good professional basketball player named LeBron James is going to hold a press conference to announce which NBA team he is going to play for this year.

Who will it be? Chicago? New York? Cleveland? Miami? Oklahoma City, for some reason? Maybe he just wants to shake things up? Anyway, LeBron James is an incredibly talented basketballer, and free agency and quest for the best possible contract, and search for the most talented team to win hypothetical championship after championship is as newsworthy as anything else in entertainment and/or sports news.

Here are, as of 7:30pm, the two comments left by people on the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel website article covering the James news today (

1. Gary909 - Jul 08, 2010 7:20 PM

"Who gives a crap about some multi million dollar basket ball player. Maybe with a new contract he can get another ten tatoos."

2. jonah - Jul 08, 2010 7:28 PM


there are more important things to worry about then where Lebron James
will play basketball next season. Sad sad sad !"

Gary909, Jonah... allow me to handle this. First off, you clicked on the article. You knew what the article was going to be about. If no sports news is news, that's fine. I look forward to your comments on every single sports-related article/blog post/etc. on the Journal-Sentinel website decrying the waste of journalistic resources. Go, you watchdogs, go! Arf arf!

Also, Gary909, I don't know you, but apparently you are paying way too much for your tattoos. One reason I suspect that this is so is because you don't know how to spell "tattoo." Another reason is because it seems like you think LeBron James might spend a salary bump somewhere in the millions of dollars on ten tattoos. My simple calculations indicates that you believe the average cost of a tattoo is approximately $750,000. Gary909, you are getting ripped off! That portrait of Sarah Palin on your upper bicep would be about a $300 job where I get my work done, and the butterfly on the small of your back should've cost $75 plus tip at most. If you email me, I will give you the phone numbers for several good tattoo shops in the Milwaukee area who charge less than $750,000 per tattoo.

And Jonah, perhaps there are more important things to worry about than where LeBron James will play, such as the use of "then" vs. "than." It still doesn't explain why you clicked on this article, read it, and then commented on it - aren't there more important things to be done? But whatever. I agree. World peace, ending poverty, stopping that oil spill, and Brett Favre news from 2007 through 2009 are all much more important things to worry about. Thank god we solved that last problem by shipping him to Siberia or wherever.

Seriously, everyone: if you think that where LeBron James signs isn't news, watch this video.

This shit matters. And that'll do it for now.

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