Friday, July 23, 2010

"Liveblogging" Bob Uecker's Return

Why not? Over the course of the Milwaukee Brewers broadcast today, July 23rd 2010 A.D., I will attempt my first-ever "liveblog," because Bob Uecker is back! He's back, he's healthy (enough), and he's calling the play-by-play for the Brew Crew (with Corey Provus) once more. Glad to have ya back, Bob.

(I put "liveblog" in quotes, because I'm not truly liveblogging, just keeping the minutes of his broadcast, which I will then post at the end of the game or whenever it is I have to quit typing and go to the Screeching Weasel reunion show at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis, like around 8:30pm or so).

7:10pm - "Allright Corey, thank you very much, and this broadcast once again is..." blah blah blah express written consent, whatever, HOLY SHIT, BOB UECKER IS BACK!!! This is awesome.
7:11pm - Bob Uecker congratulates Corey and Davey Nelson for their work in his absence. This makes sense. Corey did his quasi-Jim Powell best - good enough. And Davey Nelson did nothing whatsoever to convince Brewers nation that Bob Uecker could be replaced. Good job, Davey!
7:12pm - Bob sounds good, calling Nyjer Morgan's strikeout. He has not forgotten how baseball works. Gold star!
7:13pm - Here, Bob alludes to the recent flooding of Milwaukee, although no mention of the giant sinkhole at the corner of Oakland and North which literally swallowed a Cadillac Escalade... we'll see if he gets to that later. Seems like a Ueck-ish thing.
7:15pm - "Here is Ricky Weeks to lead things off..." And we are back to Ueck play-by-play on offense for the Brewers, which, let's face it, most Brewer fans are looking forward to much more than his play-by-play calling of Brewers pitching or the very unreasonable facsimile thereof.
7:18pm - "Great to be back. Miss this stuff when you're not around it!... I did read the disclaimer every day whether I was at the park or not. The doctors told me it was the first thing I did after I came out of anaethesia. This surgery brought to you by the Milwaukee Brewers... speaking of the surgery, it was a coin flip to find out who was gonna do it..." Then he thanks the doctors by name.
7:19pm - Corey Hart triples to the opposite field, and an excited Bob Uecker calls it without requiring more heart surgery!
7:23pm - "Braun, with his 60th RBI of the year..." gives the Brewers the lead on a sac fly to deep center, driving in Corey from third. According to Bob, Ryan Braun "hit that one right on the screws." One to nothing, Brewers lead the Nationals here in the first inning.
7:25pm - "Fielder lines a bullet to Adamn Dunn and the inning is over." Works for me! Bob Uecker is back, and everything is awesome. Hey, the Brewers are even winning (by one run)! Time for a bathroom break.
7:35pm - Upon my return to this "liveblog," I hear Bob complaining about how someone named Morse hit a home run. Uh oh. Three to one, Nationals. At least there's a bright side - Chris Narveson has really improved as a starting pitcher. In the past, he's had trouble getting out of the first inning without giving up multiple runs, after which point he usually settled down. Tonight? Well, he's managed to hold off on his Inning of Crappiness until the second. Good for him!
7:38pm - Uecker, in promoting a Menards special: "I've been in Menards a whole lot the last couple of months! Anything to pick up a couple bucks. Paint department." Corey: "Any new hobbies?" Bob: "Wellll, I fell off a ladder! Coupla shinburgers on that baby." Later, after mentioning that he fell into one of his flower beds... "I don't know why I did it. It made everybody mad. At least if I'd have expired I'd have been in the flowers, anyway."
7:40pm - Corey says the most popular text messages regarding Bob Uecker were ones inquiring as to the health of his garden. Bob claims that most of it is currently somewhere in the Menomonee River.
7:41pm - Ueck: "It's not tough to get that stuff in the ground. It's tough to train the chipmunks to dig the little holes for ya."
7:45pm - "We are ready for the third, and stepping in to call it for you, here's Corey Provus." Ok, no offense to Corey (who is very good at his job), but I'm gonna listen to the Twins game for a little while. This is, after all, Dan Gladden's first night back in the broadcast booth after having surgery to remove his siamese Jack Morris.
8:10pm - Despite a tension-filled 2-out moment in Baltimore, I'm checking back on the Brewer game. Let's see what Bob has to say...
8:11pm - It's still Corey Provus, and that damn Morse fellow hit yet another home run off Chris Narveson. Five to one, Nats. That's enough for me. I'm off to Screeching Weasel! But hey, Bob Uecker's back, and it's awesome. See y'all next time.

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